well,not sure of what is happening to me,

lack of sleep,others or has the power has gotten to me?

lack of sleep:

guess slping at wee hours every nite

does has it toll on the body,

no energy to do anything,restless and bad mood,

some of the few things i'm havin now...

argh!

The power:

alwasys been afraid of this,

after seeing how power can make a person lose friends,

its one thing i always tell myself to avoid,

its like,the reason we learn from others mistake,

to not take the same path of destruction they had did.

but now,after being in two exco,

and forgotten about the 'blindness' brings,

its may be happening to me rite now,

bt its not too late,

gotten balance myself!

others:

well,been thinking bout lots of things,

my life,my future and mayb the 'wants'.

-first,my life.

well,this isn't reall wat i thought 18yrs old would be like,

had always thought,

by now,i would be financially stable,

but look at me now,toys,all the things i dun nid.

what is this?!

and also,been piling up too much commitment,

thou i wanted a meaningful life,

it does not need to be a busy life.

mental note to myself.

and grades,pls be more into your work,

wanna be a bum nxt time huh?

-my future

duno where this path will lead me,

media,

where will i stand?

where will i be?

will i survive?

will i be a bum?a parasite of society?

i duno,but i'm starting to be scared of it.

-the 'wants'

wanting to complete my set of toys,

and i'm gonna do it,

even if it means being a spendthrift,

cus i know,i will nvr stop wanting to complete it

once i started.

a gf,tis is really a weird want,

duno whether everyone is getting,

thus starting the 'gf fever'

or is it my time to actually thinking of getting one.

friends told me to juz go for it,

bt then,why start something whn u can't complete it?

so meaning i should juz be a jerk and juz get into short r/s?

mayb.i duno.

well,i really duno wat my life is really be filled with,

wat i'm gonna do.

something,wish i would really be able to start everything afresh,

a reset button mayb?haix

31/06/2011,the date to fully pack up all the toys and be a 18yr old