Countdown to 2014!

Well, its is finally the last day of 2013 :)
it has been a year of change as expected,
finishing poly to working at Broers and Flock,
and now National service :)
This are some of the main events that happen this year :)
Met awesome people along the way,
be it colleague or regulars along the way :)

Definitely, there are some down moments,
one of them is definitely losing her.
Guess national service does left us with no time to spend with that special one.
Maybe is the right one at the wrong time?
Anyway, its over :)
And like what i always felt,
if it ends, means, there is something wrong
and should just let it be.
So for now,
no new resolution,
just do my best,
at the main stuff next year :)
- CIA interview
-New Vocation
-Spending time with the people around me
-Just do my best :)

Happy 2014! :D

Problems when i get too free

Seriously, i have too much time on my hand.
It like eat, surf the net, doing some exercise in between and nothing else.
Worst thing of all, all the empty moments to think of stupid stuff.
Guess, i really need to be busy now more than ever,
but yet, its the one thing i can't do.

I guess i can confirm now that one of the thing i can't do is to show care for someone.
Its like, maybe it a problem with my ideology,
like, i feel we should be able to solve our own problems,
if not, just find the person who is able to solve it.
So, when i hear a problem,
all i can think of is to solve it.

Don't really wanna stay home,
like i just wanna go out,
its like when i'm home,
all i wanna do is to do nothing.
However, my mind just keep telling myself to do something.
Contradicting person.

Now, i just wanna like go out,
even if its alone,
at least,
it keeps my mind off stuff.
Worst part of a relationship.

Reflection of 2013

Woah,
Suddenly,
the amount of days to 2014 can be counted with both hands.
A lot has happened in this few months.
Sept, Oct, Nov and now Dec.
During this 4 months,
the army guy me,
fired live rounds, went to field camp, threw a grenade and
had my IPPT pass that came way too late.
While for the civilian me,
I ended a relationship that lasted 1 year and around 9months(?),
went into the hospital.

As of now, i really really hate the idle moments i have.
Too much free time, too much moments for my thoughts to go wild.
I have to admit,
i'm still adjusting,
adjusting to this life that has one part of it missing.
Its not just a small routine,
but it was a huge chuck of my life for almost two years.
Going to movie with others, not constantly on my phone,
having to fetch her home, no problems to face together.
it, seem a little unfamiliar to me.
i thought, i would not be affect by it,
but it seems like, i was wrong.
Guess its gonna be another two years of waiting,
waiting for time to heal this wound.

However, this time, its gonna be different,
no more farther than friends,
no more love, no more couples stuff, no more.
If there is a lesson to be learnt,
it is that, i'm a guy who place work, responsibility above all.
I may place a girl first in my life,
but that only be in terms of the people of my life.
The placing of things that is important in my life,
as much as i hate to admit,
will always be responsibility above all.
So, to not create another problem,
be a burden to others,
no more, from now now,
it will be just work, family, friends and interests.
Maybe till the time when that someone appears,
that can really really change me,
or maybe just support me
or share the same 'problem' in life.
Maybe.

Main reflection of 2013.
Put in more effort in to things, esp things that affect my future.
Endure and endure more, i am able to take more that i know.
Learn more, experience more. Leave this little well of mine.
I'm an adult now, couple of weeks to 21. Mature, Man up.