ckzation

Oh well,today, i went out with her and a friend of ours. then we walked home, i can felt the awkwardness between, haha, guess,short hair is really a factor. i can say she isn't the one colouring my life anymore. i colour my own life, i choose what i want to do. but just now, i have to say, i thought maybe we could be friends, but then the chat at the staircase, it was no longer like it used to, from private conversation, to just casual superficial topic. Is hair the problem? if it is, then i guess the choice to give up was not wrong then. if a hairstyle is such an important factor its,just stupid. but that chocolate, it sort of symbolized something, something we used to had... shouldn't have taken it. shouldn't have get it in my life. guess,i got to just return it, return a gift, return everything... i duno...whether if i can do it...

when i got into poly,CMC sometime,the lecturer in my class will ask my class to write something, something,a sentence describing a thing, an event or even sometime to promote something. i get stun, like thou its like the 2nd sem of my year 2 poly life, my mind still get jam sometimes .i think maybe cus thru out 10 years of pri and sec sch, most of the answer i nid to give,is usually,the same as others. so now,when asked to do something,different. i get stuck.... then after reading an article, written by a teacher, about a student who did everything different. it got me thinking, am i really programmed to think in a certain way? like same same? remember drama teacher once said, when someone is looking for his/her style, they start by copying other people. but it has been 18 yrs already, is copying someone's style, my style? i duno, so maybe i should start developing my style? i think i have it in me, but confidence, why am i so not confident? yeah,maybe instead of playing safe, i sh...

Shitty project, the new semester timetable is like ok, but the assignments' deadline is very rush, week 3 already starting on assignment, assignment that has like 40% of the module, oh my god! then still got shitty project? camp that we start planning like what? three week before hand? What.shit.is.this? ARGH!was so hype about it, then now? found out i slipped up A LOT! damn it! ARGH!! hope it goes well... finger crossed

well,been a long time since i blogged, thou its the holidays now, thou i have the time to blog, thou i dun really sleep early nowadays, i didn't do it... maybe some part of my life don't really worth remembering? maybe,or maybe not. http://www.youtube.com/user/WongFuProductions?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/13/VSkYbgxl93Y saw this wongfu production just now, been awhile since i went to their channel, then it gotten me thinking... Memories, What are the memories that i wanna remember? but just like the female lead said, if u can't remember, why would i wanna remember it? why would i have the desire to remember it? guess thats just unreliable memories are? Its impossible to suddenly remember somethings, like how someone would when flipping thou his/her old stuff. When some memories are gone, its gone...for life... Then came the 'second question' of the film, if you want to remember a memory, even if its fake, what would it be? Then the male lead began to tell what he is thinki...

found a song, that explains, the emotion,the situation i am in now... 'Sara Barailles - Breathe Again' its like, to me,she used to be like air, something that i have, but taken for granted... and now,this air, isn't the same, yet,i still wish to try to get it... knowing that having it, doesn't mean i would be happy. i'm lost, really lost, hope to find the another air, then i can breathe in. A new kind of air...

oh well, it has once again been awhile since i blogged after the exam on the tuesday, it will be over for semester 2.1. haix,worried about my result, hope it comes out well thou... ok now,personal stuff, thought,gonna get into a new relationship, but it turns out,to be an infatuation, the feeling,faded rather fast, as there can't be interaction as much as the last, it sort if burn out rather quickly. and friends and i pointed out about 'the standard' being of course,my ex. yeah,true,she is really a standard. i'm not sure. at first it was, but then even as there wasn't, i still didn't had the same feeling as the first. i know, its is bound to be different, bt this time, the feeling now is lyk totally different from the start. totally nth... i duno.... treating her as a friend now... hope she dun hav feeling for me... scared i'm misleading her, omg,why didn't i juz end this at the start?! damn it.... Things to do tmr: MEMORISE THE HISTORY NOTES!

haha,after everything, this is still a personal blog. maybe i'm juz expecting too much. but oh well, i'm juz someone who crave attention anyway. oh well,today,i'm juz not in the mood to be really a very nice person la. guess we all got our own life? u hav your worries, i have my woes. so lets juz get on with our own life, after all its our own lives that we are living :) so mayb focus less on the us and more on the you and me, i will feel less? yeah,maybe maybe. who cares anyway, i'm juz talking to myself.