ckzation

loving someone is the same as giving someone the ability to lift your spirit to cloud nine for the simplest things or the ability to fire a gun in your heart, at your heart

Ok,Super long never update this blog already :P well, last time i updated was like last year's nov 3rd, so firstly, WELCOME TO 2012! :D yup! its a new year already :) and gonna be 19 already :P ok, first thing first, updates~ finally got onto the new phase of my life, a new her :) a 'nice' her :P well, actually never expected to be together with her, she always seems so... out of my league, haha! but things happen and the special date 12/1/2012 was set :) yeah~ she is, different from the old her, she is everything i wanted, dependent and independent, smart, funny, and cute :) i don't feel awkward around her, we (or at least me :p) feel comfortable :P and she accept me for who i am! :D the most comfortable relationship i had ever been in >_< hehe~ what will be, i don't know, but for now, i'm happy :P

Oh well,today, i went out with her and a friend of ours. then we walked home, i can felt the awkwardness between, haha, guess,short hair is really a factor. i can say she isn't the one colouring my life anymore. i colour my own life, i choose what i want to do. but just now, i have to say, i thought maybe we could be friends, but then the chat at the staircase, it was no longer like it used to, from private conversation, to just casual superficial topic. Is hair the problem? if it is, then i guess the choice to give up was not wrong then. if a hairstyle is such an important factor its,just stupid. but that chocolate, it sort of symbolized something, something we used to had... shouldn't have taken it. shouldn't have get it in my life. guess,i got to just return it, return a gift, return everything... i duno...whether if i can do it...

when i got into poly,CMC sometime,the lecturer in my class will ask my class to write something, something,a sentence describing a thing, an event or even sometime to promote something. i get stun, like thou its like the 2nd sem of my year 2 poly life, my mind still get jam sometimes .i think maybe cus thru out 10 years of pri and sec sch, most of the answer i nid to give,is usually,the same as others. so now,when asked to do something,different. i get stuck.... then after reading an article, written by a teacher, about a student who did everything different. it got me thinking, am i really programmed to think in a certain way? like same same? remember drama teacher once said, when someone is looking for his/her style, they start by copying other people. but it has been 18 yrs already, is copying someone's style, my style? i duno, so maybe i should start developing my style? i think i have it in me, but confidence, why am i so not confident? yeah,maybe instead of playing safe, i sh...

Shitty project, the new semester timetable is like ok, but the assignments' deadline is very rush, week 3 already starting on assignment, assignment that has like 40% of the module, oh my god! then still got shitty project? camp that we start planning like what? three week before hand? What.shit.is.this? ARGH!was so hype about it, then now? found out i slipped up A LOT! damn it! ARGH!! hope it goes well... finger crossed

well,been a long time since i blogged, thou its the holidays now, thou i have the time to blog, thou i dun really sleep early nowadays, i didn't do it... maybe some part of my life don't really worth remembering? maybe,or maybe not. http://www.youtube.com/user/WongFuProductions?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/13/VSkYbgxl93Y saw this wongfu production just now, been awhile since i went to their channel, then it gotten me thinking... Memories, What are the memories that i wanna remember? but just like the female lead said, if u can't remember, why would i wanna remember it? why would i have the desire to remember it? guess thats just unreliable memories are? Its impossible to suddenly remember somethings, like how someone would when flipping thou his/her old stuff. When some memories are gone, its gone...for life... Then came the 'second question' of the film, if you want to remember a memory, even if its fake, what would it be? Then the male lead began to tell what he is thinki...

found a song, that explains, the emotion,the situation i am in now... 'Sara Barailles - Breathe Again' its like, to me,she used to be like air, something that i have, but taken for granted... and now,this air, isn't the same, yet,i still wish to try to get it... knowing that having it, doesn't mean i would be happy. i'm lost, really lost, hope to find the another air, then i can breathe in. A new kind of air...