ckzation

As of what i know, my last post is at the start of this year :) As usual, a lot has happen, bout to ord, uni bout to start, and getting closer to 'this girl' :P well, after reading the update in jan, i am glad to have overcome the trust issue i always had in relationships :) however, i won't say things are just gonna go smoothly just yet~ turns out adult life is even worst than when i was young~ all these new problems on top of the old~ haix~ just make me realize, maybe this is why people used to say it feels good to be a kid or to be young~ ANYWAY~ like i always feel, there is always two side to a coin :) when there is bad thing~ there is a good side :) adulthood isn't without it perks~ :D staycation, dates, dreams and goals dun seem so far right now~ like a post on 9gag, the year 2000 is as far as the year 2030 right now :) so in 2030, i will be 37, where will i be? i hope its with you >_^ with the dreams we made, and goals we set~ a...

Never thought that after so long,I still need this place to rant out stuff, haha... so much for relationship after uni, so, I guess it serves me right to have all these problems in my mind right now. so end of 2014, I am going out with this girl she is perfect, in every way. except one. she had one thing I had always been avoiding. she is popular. been hiding from this after sec school. so how now? to accept it? to leave now? After accepting the fact that, I am not gonna be in a relationship forever, these things that's happen is~ not really helping me changing my view... me right now, just wish, you could answer all my qus, scold me, even argue with me, at least dispel the doubts in me. I have accepted the fact, everyone leaves, tell me, convinces me! let me know no matter what you won't leave. dun just say... you have feelings for me, I can leave If I want... I need more than that... and tonight, definitely didn't help, knowing that yo...

All Too Well I walked through the door with you, the air was cold, But something 'bout it felt like home somehow. And I left my scarf there at your sister's house, And you still got it in your drawer even now. Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze. We're singing in the car, getting lost Upstate. Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place, And I can picture it after all these days. And I know it's long gone, And that magic's not here no more, And I might be okay, But I'm not fine at all. 'Cause there we are again on that little town street. You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me. Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well. Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red. You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed And your mother's telling stories about you on a tee ball team You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me. And I know it's long gone And there wa...

Most adults always say, what could a kid be stress about? Well, for me, i really beg to differ. After talking to some people in life, it turns out that some kids really do have stuff to stress about. It may start out as simple as not being able to get a new toy, but as some parents do not see it, it slowly evolve into, not being able to support their kids thru higher education. Well, so i say, all kids grows up, but some, earlier than others. Some naturally, while others are forced by situation. Guess, it does make oneself strong and more determine. A person can't choose what in his life, he can only choose what he is going to do about it. Moving on, 2014, its time to put down, all the things i don't need to stress about, all the things others should start worrying about, all the responsibilities that i do not need to carry After 19/1/14, more self development, more focus, more self improvement. Less worrying, Less thinking of things that has pass,...

Well, its is finally the last day of 2013 :) it has been a year of change as expected, finishing poly to working at Broers and Flock, and now National service :) This are some of the main events that happen this year :) Met awesome people along the way, be it colleague or regulars along the way :) Definitely, there are some down moments, one of them is definitely losing her. Guess national service does left us with no time to spend with that special one. Maybe is the right one at the wrong time? Anyway, its over :) And like what i always felt, if it ends, means, there is something wrong and should just let it be. So for now, no new resolution, just do my best, at the main stuff next year :) - CIA interview -New Vocation -Spending time with the people around me -Just do my best :) Happy 2014! :D

Seriously, i have too much time on my hand. It like eat, surf the net, doing some exercise in between and nothing else. Worst thing of all, all the empty moments to think of stupid stuff. Guess, i really need to be busy now more than ever, but yet, its the one thing i can't do. I guess i can confirm now that one of the thing i can't do is to show care for someone. Its like, maybe it a problem with my ideology, like, i feel we should be able to solve our own problems, if not, just find the person who is able to solve it. So, when i hear a problem, all i can think of is to solve it. Don't really wanna stay home, like i just wanna go out, its like when i'm home, all i wanna do is to do nothing. However, my mind just keep telling myself to do something. Contradicting person. Now, i just wanna like go out, even if its alone, at least, it keeps my mind off stuff. Worst part of a relationship.

Woah, Suddenly, the amount of days to 2014 can be counted with both hands. A lot has happened in this few months. Sept, Oct, Nov and now Dec. During this 4 months, the army guy me, fired live rounds, went to field camp, threw a grenade and had my IPPT pass that came way too late. While for the civilian me, I ended a relationship that lasted 1 year and around 9months(?), went into the hospital. As of now, i really really hate the idle moments i have. Too much free time, too much moments for my thoughts to go wild. I have to admit, i'm still adjusting, adjusting to this life that has one part of it missing. Its not just a small routine, but it was a huge chuck of my life for almost two years. Going to movie with others, not constantly on my phone, having to fetch her home, no problems to face together. it, seem a little unfamiliar to me. i thought, i would not be affect by it, but it seems like, i was wrong. Guess its gonna be another two years of waiting, w...